Hopeful Hoopers

Back one morning in June I received a text from another one of Bradley's family members (not the same one who ruined our wedding). The text said I was a mean, selfish, selfless, awful person and Owen was going to pay for that and how he would end up hating me... I didn't take that message very good at all!! I don't care what anyone has to say about me but whenever you start talking about what kind of mother I am that's when I get irate. Everyone who knows me knows that I put Owen above myself and that I try to give him the best life possible. The reason the family member sent me that msg is because I wouldn't let Bradley check out Owen from daycare after the Father's Day luncheon that they had. You may be wondering why I didn't let him check Owen out?? This was about the same week I found out Owen had been around Bradley's girlfriend. So I wasn't about to let Bradley have more time with Owen when all he was doing was taking him around her. I don'...

Everything is so different now! It was an amazing feeling to have Bradley want to spend time with Owen & myself instead of him being off doing his own thing. I know everyone needs time for themselves, but in the past it was like Bradley was always too busy for the little things. This past weekend we had a full weekend of family time- pumpkin patch, painting pumpkins & getting ready for Owen's third birthday!! Three months ago I was so sick at my stomach thinking how Owen would have two separate birthday parties seeing how Bradley & I weren't getting along, now I look and thank God for how far we have come. Owen will have one party with two loving parents. Hallelujah!! I am anxious to see what else God has in store for us!! 

On October 12th some of our family filled the church pews to see Bradley get baptized. It was such a blessing!! Owen kept saying "My daddy is going to get wet" Our prayers were being answered one by one.  Things continued going great!! Bradley & I were making time for dates and also time for family outings. We don't argue or fight. I'm very independent (or at least I try to think that I am) but It was the little things that I was starting to see like instead of me asking Bradley to cut the plastic away from my new phone case so I can get it out, he got it out for me; or me carrying a heavy bag he would get it from me and carry it. Where had this caring and compassionate man been??    

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying everything that has happened between Bradley and I in the past was his fault. I had my mistakes too. One of my biggest faults was ever since Owen was born (Almost 3 years) I put Bradley on the back burner for him. I know that was wrong and I couldn't help it. After working all week all I wanted to do was be with my kiddo. Going through a divorce and having almost all married friends and listening to them complain about their spouse made me realize Bradley & I did have problems, but they weren't big enough for divorce. I have learned you can't just pack up your things and run from your problems. Although I wish Bradley and I would of went to God instead of going to a lawyer, at the same time I'm thankful for our divorce because it has changed everything completely. If your reading this and your going through a divorce or thinking about it ask yourself if your problems are big enough for divorce. No problem is too big for God...

Bradley & I had been trying out a new church and we both liked it a lot. Ever since our talk the night he left his "fling" we have only missed one Sunday, which was my fault (wardrobe malfunction). On September 28th, Bradley & I decided it was time to join the church. I joined by letter & since Bradley hasn't ever been baptized he was joining by baptism. I was overjoyed by all the love shown in this church and also what God was doing with Bradley. He was like a totally different person since we started this new journey. His drinking had stopped, only thing on his radio was christain music. Instead of getting out the guitar to play some honky tonk bar song, he was getting it out to play a hymn. My heart was so happy about  everything that was happening with Bradley & I.  God is Good!! 

There were only a couple of people who were supportive of me giving Bradley another chance. I didn't blame the ones who didn't, Bradley had done me wrong & no one wanted to see me hurt again. I had come so far on my own, I didn't need or want another set back . I was finally happy with myself and was a totally different person. No one wanted me to change back to the unhappy person I was before. But it wasn't up to anyone else to make decisions for me. I wanted this for myself. I also felt like since we had Owen, if Bradley wanted to give it another chance then I needed to. I made up my mind that I wasn't going to let myself change back to who I was before. I wasn't going to get hurt and things would have to be different this time around. 

The next day was a Sunday, and I had been going to church with my friend Melanie. I had told Bradley the night before how Owen & I were going and how if he was wanting to try to work things out then he needed to get in church too. We needed God's help!! We couldn't do it alone. Bradley said he was going to go to church with us, I wanted to believe he would show up but I had no trust for him. That Sunday morning he actually showed up! I was very surprised and happy. Bradley & I started spending time together as a family, with Owen. I wasn't sure what I thought about it yet, it felt weird! All I could think about was him and his ex-girlfriend. Some days I still think about them and how crappy the whole thing was. Since Bradley and I did everything backwards, (pregnant then marriage) we never got a chance to date. I believed this was God's way of letting us date and fall in love the right way.  We continued to go to church and to spend time together, we didn't...

 One morning Bradley and I were texting about Owen then the conversation took a quick turn to how Bradley wanted his family back. He said he had watched the movie Heaven is for real and he had a dream that him, Owen and myself were a family again and we were in church living right. He said it was like God was telling him to quit being stubborn and stupid and to get his family back. What do you say that?? I remember my exact words were "I don't know what to say, you have a girlfriend!!" and he said " And would I drop her for my family? in the blink of an eye!!" How could I believe a word this man was saying? How could I ever trust him again? We talked a lot the next few days about what he wanted. I didn't know what I wanted. It all seemed nice and would be great if it could actually work out, but could it?? Bradley wanted to meet up and talk, for two days I made no plans but to wait around and talk to Bradley. We never met up. He had every excuse to why we di...

Things always got good before they got bad again.. March 2014 came around and Bradley & I couldn't take it anymore. I was tired of getting no help with Owen, housework, or anything at all. Bradley was tired of me Griping all the time. I began sleeping in the spare room and Bradley put a passcode on his phone. Bradley had ran into an Ex at Wal-Mart on Mother's day and started texting her ( Happy Mother's Day to me) We weren't husband and wife anymore, more like roommates who never spoke to each other. The only way we talked to each other was if we had to about Owen. We decided that divorce was the answer. I didn't want Owen to grow up in a split up home (we both actually agreed on that) but  I didn't want him to grow up in a house where his mommy& daddy constantly fought. I told Bradley I was going to talk to my lawyer and get the ball rolling ( we had talked about divorce Sept 2013) a couple days later I found out Bradley had already filed for divor...

I have always heard "The first year of marriage is the hardest" and boy did I believe that!! Not only was it our first year of marriage, it was our first year with a baby which made it that much harder. Once we got into our second year of marriage things seemed to go a little more smoothly. By no means did Bradley & I have a perfect marriage, sometimes all we did was fight! All of our arguments were centered around two things... Money or Bradley playing music in bars. Who doesn't argue about money.. right? Especially anyone who knows how Bradley likes to trade vehicles like he changes his underwear. It was normal to find out Bradley had bought a new vehicle by pulling up at his work or the house and seeing it parked there. All I wanted was to be included on major purchases like that. The other fighting words subject... Bradley playing music in bars!! Where do I start?? Well for starters I believe that there is nothing good that comes...

We found out at 18 weeks that we were having a boy. I had a feeling we were having a girl but I was wrong! Now the hard part, agreeing with Bradley on a name for our prince. I was off on Fridays so I would sit at home on the Internet searching baby boy names. I would text Bradley about 10 names at a time and he would reply back only liking one or two. I thought we were never going to agree on a name.. Then finally I came across Owen, which meant A gracious gift from God. And since we had been wanting a name that meant something we felt Owen was the perfect name.. In August, my Aunt Jewel who had been fighting cancer for some time found out she had about three months to live. Watching Jewel go through treatments was hard but to hear that she only had a certain time left on this earth was indescribable. As anxious as I was for November to get here to meet my little man, I wasn't ready for November to get here because I wasn't ready to say goodbye to my aunt Jewel. My Mother was v...

How do you tell your family that you are pregnant before getting married? I made myself sick worrying about telling my parents and my sweet Granddaddy. But it had to be done. Once I had broke the news to my family I felt much better. Telling Bradley was easy. He was surprised (in a good way)  and we were both excited that God had chose us to be parents. Bradley and I began to talk and make plans for our future since we were going to be parents. It was very important to me for us to be married before our little bundle of joy arrived. On April 5th, 2011 Bradley asked me to marry him and in order to not be huge at our wedding I began to get it all planned. We got married June 18, 2011. It was a nice wedding especially since it was thrown together in two months but it was no fairy tale. The morning of our wedding I was having to worry about if Bradley would have a grooms cake and if his table would be decorated, even had a lady on stand by ready to bring another cake in case the family...

It was a Wednesday night in December 2010, my Mother's birthday. She was going out with some friends and asked for me to go. Honestly, I didn't want to go I just wanted to stay home and be lazy. Since it was her birthday I decided I would go. I remember that night just like it was yesterday, I threw on some clothes and some slip on shoes that your not supposed to wear socks with, but I did. I wasn't going to see anyone so what did it matter? I ended up meeting a guy who was out with some friends singing karaoke, his name was Bradley. The night ended and we went our separate ways. Never knowing if I would see or talk to him again. Thanks to the wonderful world of social media we were able to connect and keep in touch. Ok, I admit I may have stalked Bradley's Facebook... who hasn't stalked someone... right? Within just a couple weeks Bradley and I were talking and started hanging out some. A week or two later we became exclusive and were boyfriend & girlfriend. Li...