Mother's Day weekend 2015

- May 10, 2015

What a weekend this has been, full of emotions!! I feel like the devil has been working against me in every way he possibly could for the past three days. Friday night Bradley & I got in a huge argument, my feelings got hurt and Bradley & I both said some things we shouldn't have said. We hardly ever fight, but Friday night we did & it reminded me of how we used to be pre-divorce 2014. We went to sleep mad (I know your not supposed to do that, but I'm hard headed!) One thing we have both got better at is apologizing.

Saturday morning we both apologized and went on with our day. It was Upward Sports Soccer Saturday at our church. Owen decided he was going to play. He did good and majority of the time he was on the field! I think he is getting the hang of it, only two more games! I got in trouble at the game by Bradley because I wasn't friendly enough to his mother. Her & I don't have the best relationship- I thought I was nice to her but apparently I wasn't nice enough. That was nerve racking. Bradley said her & I needed to have a conversation to fix our relationship, I wasn't going to do that in the church parking lot with Owen and everyone else there. I'm still trying to learn how to forgive someone who has done wrong to me time & time again. After the game Owen, myself, his Meme & Paw-Paw went out to eat and we went to a yard sale while Bradley went to work for a couple hours. I love spending time with Owen's Paw-Paw & MeMe, they are such laid back and sweet people who have treated me like their own from day one. Later that day I tried to text Bradley's mom to make effort to work on our relationship- I said what was on my mind and got little to no response. Once Bradley got off work we headed to Springville, Alabama for the Homestead Hollow Festival. It's a Mother's Day tradition of mine to go to Homestead Hollow- I Love It! We had a good time at Homestead Hollow, but my heart was still hurting from everything that had happened but I was trying to make the best of it. Later that night we took Owen bowling for the first time, that was a Hoot! I learned that I still suck at bowling.. I think my highest score was like 69.

Sunday Morning came & it was Mother's Day- My boys got me two things from homestead hollow that I liked and a sweet card. Owen also made me a flower in his Sunday school class. Bradley had plans to go see his Mother after church, I had plans to take my Mother out to eat when we left church- I figured we could take them both out & that would be nice because it would be me making an effort to have a better relationship with his Mother. Bradley text his Mom to see if she would want to go with us, she said no thanks. I love Bradley with all my heart & I want to be with him so I was wanting to work on mine & her relationship since she was the only Mom Bradley had. Bradley, Owen & myself took my Mother to lunch and the plan was for Owen & I to go home after and Bradley to go see his mom. I knew Bradley wanted me to go with him, honestly I didn't want to. She had made no effort to talk to me or to work on our relationship. After going back & forth with Bradley many times, I was going. We went to see his Mom- we all walked through the door... No one said hey to me, after about two minutes of being there I had to say Hey Y'all & wave my hands around for anyone to even speak to me. Then I just broke down in tears. Bradley tried to be the mediator to fix it all and we all talked some but we still didn't make any progress. All of this was tearing me down & pushing me farther away. If I wasn't a different person than who I was a year ago I would of packed my bags and hit the road this weekend. I'm not the kind of person who looks for a sad poor pitiful me story to make people feel sorry for me, but this has pushed me to my limit. After Bradley saw that I was making effort and they couldn't even speak to me when I walked in at their house, he said he was sorry and that he wasn't going to worry about it anymore. I hate it has to be this way but there is just some things you have no control over. I am thankful for the relationships I have with Bradley's dad & step-mom, maybe one day mine & his Mother's relationship will be better but it isn't looking too promising.

Although this was a rough weekend for me I am thankful I got to spend all weekend with my little man, no matter what life throws at me it is such a wonderful feeling knowing that I have unconditional love from him.